Life begins at 40?……

So the big 40 is nearly upon me grrr. Having to tick the next age group up when filling out forms. Feels like a lifetime ago when I hit my first milestone of 13 and hitting the teens. Being 40 seemed sooooo old back then. Luckily with having enhanced coloured hair, I won’t be able to see the grey hairs. Though I have had to pluck a couple of white eyebrows out!! Also a visit to the opticians and now need glasses. But for distance not for reading, so rocking the sexy secretary look and the world feels like it’s in HD now!
There was so much I’d hope to have achieved by now. One of which was having children. This unfortunately isn’t going to happen for me. It’s ironic that you spend your whole life trying not to get pregnant and when you’re ready, it doesn’t happen. Failed IVF is a very traumatic experience as is the sadness of never being able to have my own child. I am very lucky to have my 2 very loving stepsons in my life. You don’t have to give birth to give unconditional love to children. The last 2 weeks I have had so many people ask “have you got kids” “you’re so lucky not having kids” I just smile sweetly when inside I just want to scream at them. Apparently that’s frowned upon!
I am a positive person, glass half full kinda girl so that’s how the list evolved. I got back into running and the goal of 10k, half marathon and London giving a focus. Being busy and that old cliche time, is a great healer. Doesn’t stop you at times longing but I have to count my blessings and be thankful for the wonderful things I have in my life already.
It’s been fun doing my 40 at 40 list and there’s a few that will be done later in the year. People have asked what my favourite one has been, I can’t choose at the moment. One of the nicest things has been, people saying how I’ve inspired them. Whether it’s to get out running or compile their own lists. My 9 year old surrogate niece has her 10 at 10 that she is doing.
As I’ve been doing things, I’ve been mentally starting another to do list. So many things that we thought “would like to try that”. Life is for living. Dave has called this “The (very)long road to 50!”
Some so far are:
Learn to Salsa
Learn to ballroom
Complete the Windermere marathon
Walk the Crown round
Bob graham round
100k Lakeland trail
Kielder marathon
Beat our K2B time
Watch this space for more additions

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